What A Treat On My first Viewing

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Hi all, I`m a newby with all this. I bought my first lead yesterday and how excited I was, I was not sure what to do with myself, run, scream with excitement, drink, smoke myself stupid. I contacted the vendors partner,she was not around till later (out at the match)I said I would ring later, she beat me to it,I thought these are really motivated,(great) we want a rent back thou she said abruptly oh no problem I said, we talked a few figures and arranged a viewing the following day. I never slept all night could not think of anything else, I went to work with the same emotions spoke to a couple of colleagues who are into this, they geared me up well and truely. I rang a broker, ran over a few figures he said what a good deal, if it comes off, so off I went into the shower put on some crisp clean clothes on and off I went. I walked to the front of the house to be greated by a load of (how can I put this politely) I have thought long and hard about this but I just can`t put it any better - big, dirty,obese,very smelly teenagers, here mister do you wanna a buy a car for 500 quid, I glanced up the foot path to be greeted by the father who was dressed only in his boxers (not a pretty sight- beleive me) promtly chirped in `its got a f***k**g full tank of petrol in it,ant get the b**t*rd out. As I walked up the path not noticing the dog muck pasted all over the path I stood in it, shit I thought yes shit all over the place. I introduced myself and was left at the front door, these kids were carrying kids in there arms, I thought where are this lot going surely they have been told to go out of the way while I was visiting, but no I was wrong again. Are you coming in or what, I was having seconds thoughts by now because my nasal passage was telling me to either run or be sick.(what have I let myself in for here)Out popped the mother well she was there all the time but I just could`nt see her amongst all the mess and clutter in the livingroom, you heard her before you noticed her, what a delight to my eyes she was about 40 stone wet through, long crisp grey hair and matching teeth, she still had her football top on since yesterday she said she`s never had time to change, something about keeping the sofa from floating away,they all sat around in a big circle and started talking amongst themselves, eerh mister do you want a fag. No thankyou I replied, just as well theres 7 of us before you`ll get it. They continued talking again till the mother said well what do you think, I was still stunned from my entrance to reply, I eventually replied once I got the dog down from jumping up at me, or dont worry about her I was told she only wants to lick your face(no thanks-I had noticed it had just been licking her feet). I said shall we have a walk around the house and talk on the way, the daughters screamed and said they would have to clean up the room first. The kitchen was like a dirty chinese laundry and I mean dirty, we had to wait for the eldest son to come back down stairs with the light bulb so we could go up to the next floor (yes It was really that dark) the walls were painted a lovely royal blue colour to make it even darker, I can honestly say I have walked past cleaner, tidier, fragranced skips. Well what do you think she said `what can you say but oh it`s lovely` we made our way back downstairs to the living room, they started talking amongst themselves again about who was going for the carryout, do you want anything I was asked ( I replied promptly this time and said I would be in touch) The Best £75 I have spent In A Long Time. ATB and good house hunting to you all